Emergency

Last week, I had an unplanned few days away from home.

On Wednesday morning, Liams hernia was refusing to go down.  After a few attempts and not getting anywhere. I told bf I think we should take him to the hospital. The only problem being that the hospital was around 60 miles away. It was pretty desperate measures for us to go there but I am so glad we did. It was the longest hour and a quarter imaginable getting there but we got there and spent almost 10 minutes finding where to go on this colossal site.

We went through to A&E with our letter from the GP with the information we’d already had a few weeks earlier. We were then sent to the childrens department round the corner. We had barely any waiting to do. It was so fantastically organised and Liam had to undergo a few tests, he was weighed and is now a healthy 14.5lbs so he is doing ok. This was despite me noticing as early as last weekend that he was eating alot less and less often. He’d have around 3oz of milk every 4-5 hours instead of 5-6oz every 3-4 hours. I did wonder if it was because he was changing his eating patterns and needing less feed in general. I guess it was an early sign even then.

After a short wait we saw a Doctor who checked his hernia and it was indeed stuck though thankfully not strangulated. If it had been strangulated it would have been surgery there and then but with a lot of force, the doctor was able to get the hernia back into place. The poor little boy appeared to be in agony as it was a struggle for her and he did seem to be suffering. This taken into account, she did say that she thought it for the best to arrange for surgery Friday morning. They could try and do it Thursday but if it was too swollen then it would be a higher risk for him and they would rather wait a further 24 hours to ensure the most simple surgery. So of course, that meant that we weren’t going anywhere. One parent could stay bf called work to say he wouldn’t be in for the rest of the week. He’d already called in to say he wouldn’t be in that day as he was meant to be working at 1pm and they seemed really concerned for little Liam.

The next few hours went by in a bit of a blur with numerous doctors and nurses coming in and checking on him. His heart rate, his oxygen levels. Someone came in to fix up a thing into his hand to give him a dose of morphine and give him some well earned pain relief. A couple of hours later, we went up to a mini ward whilst we waited for the ward we were going to be on to have it’s bedspace available.  Matthew had been collected from school by members of my family, James had been with them all day as we didn’t think it fair to drag him along with us and bf finally left us on the “holding ward” around 7pm. We’d left home at 10am so it had already felt a long day.

Liam and I finally got up to the ward just after 8pm and settled down for the night. I made a few phonecalls and got to bed rather late. Liam was having pangs of pain and really was not a happy boy.

He was woken for a bottle at 2am and this was to be his last feed until we saw the doctor and surgeons first thing in the morning in case he was fit for his operation that day. So the poor little guy was starved for hours on end and not a happy bunny. The doctor didn’t come round until nearly 9am and his hernia was as bad as it was on Wednesday so that was forced back in. Having a hungry little boy in a lot of pain is not a nice experience at all but he was really good considering. My poor little fella. He finally got a bottle around 10am and we had a lot of waiting around that day. Nurses were taking his stats every couple of hours and he did have a bad night. He seemed to be in pain constantly from 6.30-10.30pm. The pain wasn’t going away with any paracetamol but he was able to have codeine around 10.30pm then he seemed so at peace and fell sound asleep. I was worn out and feeling a little dragged down myself but I was just glad that he was out of his pain now. Poor thing. We had had the surgeon and anaesthetist come round explaining the procedure and how it would all go down in the theaters and how I could be there when he was put to sleep.  We were also told that we were third in line and would be expected to go to theater around 9.30am providing there were no emergencies. So the poor little boy got to have his last bottle at 3.30am and this time there was no chance of it not happening.

We were called down around 11.45am. We were fetched from the ward by a member of the surgical team and Liams nurse came with us. I carried him there and held onto him throughout all procedures. We went into the area and through the recovery room into the room we needed to be in. He had some drugs go direct into the little wire in the back of his hand. He also had a little tiny gas mask placed over his face as the anaesthetic took effect and he gently fell asleep in my arms.  I was told to lay him on the bed, give him a kiss and then I could leave. I gave him a kiss and then broke down in tears on the way out. I didn’t actually cry as much as I did at the doctors surgery that day but I did have a little sob leaving my poor baby on that bed.

As I left, I was given a bleeper so they could call me as soon as they had finished the op and I could see him in the recovery room. I couldn’t bear to sit up on his ward beside an empty space so took myself off to the local shopping area, got myself  a big cup of coffee and some celeb mags to take my mind off things. After an hour, I went back up to his ward and waited patiently in the parents room. Shortly after, the beeper went off and I was back to the recovery room. My little boy had been through the worst and was now on course to getting better.

I went in and he was still sleepy but looked well. Even with the little nibs still on his hands and feet and his patient details around his wrists, he looked so happy and peaceful. I couldn’t wait for a cuddle. As he began to stir, he pulled out the wire thing on his hand sending blood everywhere. I called over the nurse who removed the whole set up and that was replaced with a plaster. There was no need for any more painkillers direct into his little veins. He soon came round enough to enjoy a bottle of milk and was as sweet as anything looking up at me beginning to gurgle once again. His little legs were still heavy from his painkillers and the painkiller that he’d had inserted into his spine, acting the same way as an epidural in pregnancy. The spine is injected to stop nerve endings from feeling pain below the waist so he was pretty limp from the middle downwards. After about an hour, the nurse came back and we went back to our usual ward. He had some more pain relief later that evening but all post op checks were fine and we were told that we would definitely be going home the next day. I was so relieved.

The surgeon who had perfomed his operation came round and told us that it had gone very well and that he did have a particularly big hernia but it was all looking very good. He also told us that if Liam had just been a week older, he’d have gone home that same night but they wanted to monitor his breathing through the night as a precaution. He had to explain about any further possible complications but wished us all the best for the future. He was really nice.

I was quite keen to get to bed that evening. I kept the family informed that all had gone well and I finally got a good nights sleep. Liam finally got to eat as much as he wanted, when he wanted as well so it was a much better night for us both.

Saturday morning we returned home. Bf had left Matthew and James with his mum and drove to Cambridge to pick us up. We had a lovely drive home. The M11 motorway would have been a nightmare due to the sheer volume of traffic bf passed so we took the scenic route through other towns. It was a lovely drive and a relaxed one after the uncertainty in the rush to get there earlier in the week. That was a stressful drive up there but we just wanted this to be sorted out as soon as possible and now it’s all done we can relax.

Now 4 days after the operation, the scar is barely visible. It looks more like a natural skin fold in the region and is a perfectly neat little mark.

Matthew is so pleased to have him home and makes more of a fuss of him than ever. Even James seemed happy to see him. Though he didn’t understand, James seemed to know something was up very early on.

I am now back to having 3 healthy little boys and that means so much.

Weekly Round Up

I am having one of those incredibly rare few minutes entirely to myself. The boys and other half are happily sleeping away in bed and I am thinking of joining them in the world of dreams but thought I would call in for a quick update.

Last week, hubby to be booked us a weekend break away. Just the two of us are heading to the West Country in March. Babysitters are all planned and it’s the first time we’d have had any time away together just the two of us. It’s like a pre-wedding honeymoon, we’ve given up on the idea of a honeymoon as we are looking to go the MOST expensive time of the year and I think I will find it hard leaving the kids for a week. I’ve never had any time away from my kids. I’ve had one night away from James, the night I stayed in hospital with Liam and just a handful of nights where Matthew has stayed at my mums when I’ve had a big night out so this will be quite a big thing. We go on a Friday and come back the Monday so I am really looking forward to it.

Tuesday will be our 2 year anniversary and already it feels like a lifetime. In the positive way of course. In two years life has been turned around and I do think that everything I’ve been through in the past has been worth it to be where I am right now. I couldn’t ask for anything more in life (other than being thinner!) and I am so pleased with how life has panned itself out. Two years ago I was single with one child. If someone had said that in less than 3 years I would be married with 2 more kids, I’d have found it very funny indeed.

James had his first few steps in a row today. It was only about 4 steps, but he did it. He is wanting to walk so much, just is a little lacking in confidence as he likes to hold on or if he is feeling a little wobbly he will just sit down in the middle of the floor. He is on the verge of his first tooth too. We are having a few rough days as teething pain takes hold but he is doing so well really. He is now going to toddler group every Tuesday morning and totally loves it.

Liam has gone in his big cot for the first time tonight. Feeling a little bored Friday, I built his cot whilst bf was at work and by the time I sorted bedding, he hasn’t been able to go in it until tonight but all is quiet so I think all is well.  He was last weighed last Monday and at 7 weeks 5 days, weighed a healthy 14lb. Tomorrow he will be exactly 2 months old, Wednesday he will be 9 weeks. It’s just flying by. This is about the age James was when I fell pregnant with Liam and it all feels a little surreal. He seems so small yet so big at the same time. He really does seem to be growing fast as we are now into 3-6mth clothing.

Matthew had a school trip last week to the local castle. He loved it. Although they didn’t do the full trip in the castle museum, they did have a little look and toured the grounds as they have been doing work on castles this term. He is very much into his castle work and I have been explaining what I know about them to him and he is fascinated by it all.

Unfortunately, the kids went on a particularly dull wet day unlike these lovely pictures show. However, I do think it is great to have such a lovely place surrounded by a park in our town center.

It shouldn’t be long now until I am made an aunty. I can’t remember if I said or not, but my brother and his ex are back together though he’s still not happy. He wanted her back so much, she’s still being a pain in the butt and well, it’s a no win situation. He was miserable without her, equally so with her. They arent living together or anything but its probably for the best. So in just over two weeks I will have my first niece or nephew.

The Kids

Well, it’s been a little while since I dedicated an entry just to my little men, so here’s how they are all doing.

Matthew

Matth-u-la!!!

Well, what can I say about my oldest! There feels like little is changing with him these days though I am sure there are so many things I miss out on. He is still as charming and charismatic as ever. We also have a huge amount of cheek in there as well. He loves his book. He loves his school and most of all, his biggest love is for his brothers. He is more and more interested in football and is showing a huge interest in watching a real football match. He doesn’t know yet but we have booked tickets for him to see our local football team on December 5th. My parents are taking him but I think he will love it. Neither me or bf have much interest in football, bf doesn’t know his work shifts that far in advance and I can’t take along the 2 little ones so it’s a solution that pleases all parties.

Last weekend I took him out trick or treating for halloween. He made a wonderful Dracula and got so many sweets.

James

James celebrated his first birthday last Sunday. We had a busy day with lots of present opening and family around for the afternoon. We went out for a lovely pub lunch and James is already showing quite a sophisticated palate. He had fishcake and chips and salad. We didn’t realise that the fishcake was actually salmon and dill in flavour as opposed to the normal white fish but he tucked in intently. He absolutely loved it. He stole all my broccoli as well. The little man just adores broccoli. Matthew used to love it too but these days refuses to eat it.

James loved his presents and enjoyed being made a fuss of. There were a few tears before bedtime as I think the excitement got a little too much for him but he looked as though he loved his day.

Liam

Liam is a real little character. So much is changing so quick with him and he never fails to amaze me.

His health seems much better. The hernia is still there but it’s controllable. He did give me a real scare last week. But he appears to be fine. I have changed his formula feed this week as since he has had the groin hernia, he has been having some really nasty green nappies. I’ve never had trouble with the previous formula before and both Matthew and James got on fine with it, but since there has been issues with his intestines, Liam doesn’t seem to be getting on so well with it. On Thursday I changed his milk, by Friday night his nappy was not half as green looking or smelly, so with a little online research, it sounds as though he may be having trouble absorbing iron. Too much iron causes green poop and I have heard that the old milk is not very good for babies with tummy issues as it can be too strong. I’m just really pleased that this new milk is going down well and appears to be giving almost instant results. I am so pleased.

Liam is a real little smiler and always appears to be so happy. He is now trying to communicate a little more with sweet little sounds. It’s hard to believe he is due his 8 week jabs this week. Even harder to believe is that when I took James for his 8 week jabs and my 8 week post pregnancy check, Liam had already been concieved!!! No chance of that again though since it’s been 3 weeks since I had the depo and that I have had a long visit from Aunt Rose since. So hopefully I wont have that inconvenience again for a while since the depo stops the visits.

Tonight bf and I are off to a wedding reception. This will be my THIRD Saturday night out in 4 weeks (4 if you count trick or treating. hehe) so I am doing well. I am really looking forward to it. The kids are being looked after by my parents so bf and I can have a nice relaxing evening. The wedding photographer is the same man who is going to be doing our wedding photo’s so I am looking forward to seeing how their pictures come out. He is a mutual friend who is starting up his own business. After years of doing photography as a hobby, he has decided to go pro. So we get to discuss things with him a little this evening and if not arrange to have him come round and sort things with us one evening over a beer.

Speaking of wedding and plans, I am working on invitation lists at the moment. There is a little grey area of the family, I don’t really want to invite but feel I have to. You see, a couple of weeks ago, my brother got back with his ex. Their baby is due in less than a month and I still really dislike her.  She is making more of an effort but whilst I am trying, it is hard as she is still treating my bro like a mug. Also, her 2 kids are spoilt, uncontrollable little brats! (One even managed to damage one of James birthday toys on his birthday within hours of him opening it!)  But I feel like I can’t invite my brother to the wedding without his “family”. It’s so …… gggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr.  I know I should be able to invite who I want to my wedding and omit those I don’t want, but it’s so awkward. I’m just going to have to bite my tongue and not say a thing but invite them to the whole thing anyway. Oh well, maybe they’ll have split up again by then. I don’t think my brother is entirely happy but he’s big enough to sort himself out and we have been supportive and tried repeatedly to tell him that he’d be better off without her, but he is the one who has to live with his choices.

Finally, my oldest cousin (24)  is out in Afghanistan for 3 months. He is not in the army, but he is a mechanic for them so he is out there to help with repairs and general running of army vehicles. He wasn’t forced to go out there, it was purely voluntary and he was one of 2 who got to fly out on Wednesday after an interview last Friday. It all moved very quick but he really wanted to do it and saw it as a once in a lifetime oppertunity so we really wish him luck. He’s around 5 miles from where the problems are but got there safely and is settling in after arriving yesterday.

 

Review

Before I write about James’ birthday I thought I would go for a change of direction and offer a music review.

Yesterday saw the release of this:

Now, if I heard rightly, this isn’t released in the US or Canada until next week. It’s very rare we get things here in little old England before the states so I thought I would have a go at a short review as a little taster for those who may be interested. (ie bluesleepy impressed me with a reference to Ride Cowboy Ride in a recent entry – a track never released so only true “fans” know of it)

After the last album, Lost Highway in 2007, I was a little apprehensive of how The  Circle was going to be. The country route was not at all successful in the UK and I amongst many others lost interest in an otherwise great band. Over the years there have been some great albums, some fantastic tracks never made it as singles and those that did, were a huge success in the UK, despite rock being slightly dead on UK shores. Pop, dance and r’n'b have dominated the charts for the best part of 20 years and Bon Jovi are one of the few bands who keep coming back. They seem to have a corker of a first single from each new album then their popularity fades. I don’t believe in singles sales being a relevent part of Bon Jovi’s UK success. If you like a band, then it’s about buying the album, not a singular song. 25 years of success doesn’t rely on “A Song” every 2 years or so.

However, when I heard an interview during the production of  The Circle a few months ago that Bon Jovi were taking this back to their roots and going back to the old style that was always popular, I was quietly excited.

Bon Jovi have not failed in their word. And they have not failed to impress little old me.

They have stayed true and gone back to the days of  New Jersey and Keep The Faith. Of all the time Bon Jovi have been around, my favourite era is the 90’s. These Days is my most favourite album in the universe followed by Keep The Faith so I was rather impressed at a first hearing. I am currently on my third listen of the day (it’s just after 11am)

As much as I see the older influences I also see current influences that work. There are traces of Coldplay and Snow Patrol in there. The lyrics are very similar to how they have always been (Jon Bon Jovi has a thing about singing about trains-am I the only one who notices this?) so admittedly a little predictable with the rhymes and what the songs are about. But I do love this current style they have adapted. Bon Jovi rock meets British Indie. My heaven on the music front, the two things I love most are bought together in a little amalgamation of creativity.

Standout songs for me include:

“Superman Tonight” – Not one thing nor another. A little rocky, a little ballad-like. I like it very much. Nice lyrics and in my head rather quick.

“Broken Promiseland” – Rather different. An intro that very much reminds me of Coldplay until the drums come in and emit classic Bon Jovi with a twist of Oasis. Probably one of my favourites, if not THE favourite of the whole album.

“Loves The Only Rule” – sounds very much like The Killers. A little dance style intro. I wasn’t too sure on this at first but it’s growing on me and I am listening to it rather a lot. A little drum solo after the first chorus reminds me of “Blood on Blood” and brings it back to sounding more like the old Bon Jovi.

“Happy Now” – Remember “I Believe” from “Keep The Faith”? That’s why I like it.

“Learn To Love” – I just love it, don’t know why, I think it’s the most creative song on here and very uplifting (there’s a chant like sound to it) and sends out a positive message. I love it. Equal favourite with “Broken Promiseland”

If I was to raise a criticsm, it would be that every song on here I could compare to at least 2 other Jovi songs.

With intros and some tunes sounding very similar to previous Jovi songs to sounding very much like Matchbox Twenty, The Killers, Coldplay, even a Take That song at times – this does seem to be lacking a little in originality.

Still, I am not complaining. This IS back to the Bon Jovi I know and love so I am not going to make a fuss about it. Sometimes, if things aren’t broken they are not in need of fixing.

I am so glad the boys are back where I want them.

My overall rating 9/10 which is the equivalent of this picture:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

From a bad few days to a very special day!!!

Happy Birthday baby James. x

 

 

Good News and Not So Good News

It’s been one heck of a week but I wont bore you with too many details. Here’s some lists.

Good.

Bf and I had a rare night out – just the two of us- last Saturday. We went to a delicious chinese buffet then to a movie. We saw the Brit film “The Invention of Lying” with Ricky Gervais. Very funny film. I’d reccommend it to all.

We’ve been shopping for toys. Tomorrow is James birthday. He’ll be one!

I’ve lost 8lbs on my diet. Hoping to lose another couple by weigh in Monday.

Not Good

It’s been a scary week bought to a head yesterday with a major scare for Liam.

He may have to have an operation.

He’s had a hernia pushing out his belly button for a couple of weeks and that’s not caused any problems at all.

Yesterday I discovered another swelling in his groin. I took him over to the doctors and Liam wouldn’t allow him to carry out the basic tests he needed to. He was kicking and screaming away as the Doctor tried to do it, the Doctor was unsure if it was because he was just protesting or in pain so he gave me instructions on what to do at home where he would be more relaxed and comfortable. This test was to massage the swelling and to see if the area went back to normal. The doctor tried but he just kept fighting him off, screaming and kicking his legs. He told me to try the same then to come back in an hour.  However whilst I was there he phoned the nearest childrens hospital putting us on standby should we need to go there immediately. Hearing him on the phone to the “surgical on call” team at Addenbrooks in Cambridge, just got too much and I burst out in tears.

I was already highly emotionally after a shit week, I’d been worrying for a couple of hours about the lump and by the time I got over to see the doctor I felt a wreck. I’ve known for a while that surgery may be necessary but I put it to the back of my mind since it was a different type of hernia. This groin one though could be the more serious type that does need surgery.  The night before he was sick. He’s never sick but only once. He also almost slept through the night not waking from 11pm – 5am for a bottle. So I began to worry further more.

My doctor told me it was ok and I had no reason to worry, it’s a normal simple surgical procedure  and that it would be fine if he needed it. It doesn’t help a stressed out, worried mum. It may be simple, it may be super successful BUT it’s MY baby that will have to go under the knife and the thought of him being so small and innocent really was gut wrenching for me. I know everyone will say it will be fine and all that, but it’s STILL MY BOY that has to go through this and I wouldn’t be any sort of mother if it didn’t worry me.

It didn’t help that it was exactly the same time at 6wks 2days that Matthew was rushed to hospital and spent a week in intensive care. So the memories of that are still there and causing me to be ever more cautious.

I went home and did the test unsure if I was doing it right but gave it a go all the same. Bf took James out for a little drive and was going to come back with me to the second appointment but got stuck in traffic. I phoned my mum to let her know what was happening and caused a panic in the meantime. As I tried to explain, I ended up crying and she rushed out of work. By the time she got here, I had calmed down enough to explain properly and after another look it looked as though the swelling had gone down.

We went back to the Doctors and he confirmed it had which was a huge relief but still gave us a letter to take to the specialist childrens hospital should we have the same problem and the lump not move back into place. Also, if we were worried because he stopped feeding, didn’t pass water or do poos or anything else that may be connected, then to go straight there and not to bother with our local hospital as it would only delay things.

Another thing that was causing me much inner turmoil and stress was that I didnt want to miss James birthday, but may have had to if Liam was hospitalised. That was an awful feeling. Just hope all stays as it is for now.

I’ve had to push it back in a few times since which is a horrid experience and he hasn’t had a stinky nappy since Thursday night. Sometimes he will go 2 days without a stinky bum but he’s not normally poorly so I am keeping a close eye on him.

I think he is NATURALLY reducing his feeds as he should be around this age and both his brothers began sleeping better at night – with Matthew sleeping through the night- at 6 weeks old as well. So all his little “symptoms” wouldn’t be “symptoms” if the lump hadn’t scared the hell out of me!

Other badness this week:

The car broke. Hydraulic something or other was the problem, it was a big part of engine to go wrong. It created big noise and cost us £250 to fix. Would have been £450+ if we hadn’t got the part ourselves.

We’ve had a house of sickness this week. Liam obviously, then I’ve been ill this week, now James appears to have the cough and cold I’d had and was also feeling very unwell yesterday. He’s not normally a grizzly baby but cried alot yesterday.

I’m back to real periods. Eugh, With a Vengence too. I’ve had 2 days here and there but now on day 4 of a really heavy one not showing much sign of easing up. I did have it like this after my contraceptive first injection before if I remember correctly (yes, I got it done nearly 2 weeks ago) I had a crap 8 day period with it then nothing for the rest of the time I was on it so hoping I follow that pattern again.

Finally, bf’s nan is off to hospital tomorrow for her op on Monday so we’ll be thinking of her over the next couple of days.

I just hope next week is kinder than the week that we’ve had.

Wedding Secrets

As I haven’t mentioned this for quite some time now I thought I would share some wedding secrets.

Secrets because so far only bf and my bridesmaids know of my plans!

I scrapped the “red” theme for the wedding. I am not one to follow major fashions and though I did love the idea of red and cream for my wedding, my heart sunk every time I saw friends links on facebook of lovely weddings and a mass of red bridesmaid dresses. I began to tire of it. I know my wedding would be completely different but I began to feel that I could do things so differently and have a more memorable wedding.

That’s right, Bridezilla is emerging.

I don’t want people saying “oh her wedding was lovely, lots of red and cream” I want them saying “It is the prettiest and boldest wedding” they have ever seen.

So I am going for a wonderful “Iris” theme.

I absolutely love this colour and I like the very first design here but would have it with spaghetti straps as in the last image. Both bridesmaids are brunette so this should go wonderfully.

And what good is a beautiful dress without beautiful flowers.

I just love the fact that they are so bright and colourful, I want bold. I want variation. I don’t just want two colours or the “all white” theme that seems to be popular in the UK, I want something beautiful and reflective of myself and of course, something bright and cheerful.

So with those themes in mind, I am very much decided on how I want my wedding cakes to look. I say cakes as I want cupcakes and one top cake (traditional style)  to cut.

The supplier of these cakes are around 70 miles away in Wandsworth London, but you know what? That is no problem. That’s right where bf’s brother and sister in law live. In fact it’s about two minutes from their house so rather than “blind buying” as I call it, we will send in spies to test the cakes and see if they think the company worthy of supplying my wedding cakes.

They would then be displayed with the top cake and look something very much like this but with bolder purple.

Stunning hey?

The suits are being left to bf . It’s his job to dress himself, the best man and the 3 boys. His mum is making the bridesmaid dresses so I’ll make sure we buy extra fabric to make ties and possibly waistcoats. Not too sure on that just yet though. But once we have that sorted then they can try the suits with ties but I have said I think dark grey would be better with iris themes than common old black.

But the dress remains my biggest secret.

What a Start to The Week!

The weekend was really fun. I had a nice little bit of social time without bf and the boys as I went out to enjoy a friends hen night. We had a good laugh and I ended up in a club for the first time in years. It was a great night and although I did drink alot I did dance my little socks off. My feet killed when I got home and a couple of times I had to rest from dancing as my thighs were feeling the strain. I’ll put that down to heels and my new posture that heels bring. Yesterday morning I could feel new muscles I hadn’t felt for years in the back of my calves. I really had a good little workout.

This morning has been a little chaotic. I started off with the school drop then full of good intentions towards my diet decided that rather than keep putting the boys in and out of their buggy, I would take them for a walk. It seems so much effort to get the boys ready in the morning and go for a 2 minute walk so I thought I would take them further afield. I called in at the doctors surgery to get an appointment for myself for later and we went on a brisk walk around the business park a few minutes from where I live. I got back just in time for my 9.40 appointment where I got my birth control sorted out. I am now back on the depo provera once every 12 weeks. The possible weight gain issue bothers me but I am just going to work harder at this. I did speak to my nurse about this and I’m confident it wont be a huge issue. It may make me hungrier, but I am full of positive vibes and my house is full of healthy snacks. I have more incentives than ever but I know it worked for me before and can work again.

I had to get the prescription for it on Friday and I’ve been weighing up the pro’s and cons of it all weekend and for me the pro’s win.

I had originally gone to the nurse to get Liam seen to. On Friday morning when giving him his bath, I realised that his belly button was looking a little swollen. I took him over and was told it seemed to be ok,  it could possibly be the start of a small hernia but nothing major to worry about and to speak to my health visitor on Monday should I still be concerned. The nurse seemed really fine with it and I thought maybe I was just noticing a change in his body. So after my jab this morning we go over to the baby clinic and get the boys weighed. James is 21lb 4 oz and Liam is up to an amazing 11lb 14oz. He has gone up 1lb 8oz since the last weigh in 2 weeks ago. He will be 5 weeks old on Wednesday and weighs almost the same as James did at 9 weeks! I’m shocked but it’s good to see him so healthy. I did mention to the HV about the swelling and they were as USELESS as ever. I cannot stress how much I HATE health visitors. They are useless and do sod all to help. They advised me to go to see a nurse or my GP. I told them that I had been sent to them by the nurse so they suggested I saw my GP as soon as I could. Preferably today. This sets me into a panic thinking I’d let myself believe all weekend that there was nothing to worry about and I’ve soldiered on virtually ignoring it and now I’m being sent back to my GP.  I went back to my surgery for the THIRD time (in 90minutes) and asked to see my GP today to be told that all appointments were taken, but they are very good and as Liam is still so young and made a space for us.

It turns out it is an umbilical hernia. I’d heard of hernias but never knew what they really were until today. Basically, it’s where muscles have stayed apart around his belly button making it protrude and look swollen. He is not “ill” as he is eating and going to the toilet fine so it is not a troublesome hernia so he is not needing any treatment for it as it will correct itself as he grows. The only time they intervene is if he still has it around the age of 3 and they take action then as although it is of no problem healthwise, cosmetically it’s better for the child to not have a hernia by the time they go to school.

The stupid HV did nothing to try to reassure me that it wasn’t serious and in fact did the opposite by telling me to get him seen today! I must look a right panicky mother at the moment and having had 3 appointments between the two of us in the 2 working days I must look crazy and like one of those people addicted to going to the doctors.

Bf’s diabetes seems to be worse at the moment. It did get better for a while but I think it may have been the “honeymoon period” of the diabetes. This is when the insulin temporarily kickstarts the pancreas into working again. He had to cut down his insulin dose but has found his blood levels are high again this week and he’s had to increase his dose quite a lot in the last few days. He’s also given up smoking in the last week so I am really proud of him for that. This time he’s doing it completely by himself. He had the nicotine patches before and he felt worse on those as they were giving him more nicotine than the few cigarettes a day he smoked.

We found out last week that his nan has been diagnosed with cancer. Breast cancer has been discovered in both breasts and she is being admitted to hospital on James’ birthday to have surgery the following day. I don’t really know much more beyond that at the moment. She is in her 80’s and has always seemed quite healthy. She has remained active with her dancing every week and has never had any major health concerns until now so we are all obviously hoping that this will go in her favour and that the surgery and any following treatment goes well for her.

Liam at One Month

Yesterday my little beautiful boy turned 1 month old.  That happened far too quickly

What a difference already! He is already showing such personality in his face, his expressions and his little smiles. He is growing so quickly that I would not be surprised if he is up to 12lb when he is weighed on Monday. He is doing so well bless him.

This reminds me that I never did get to explain the name choice of Liam Oliver.

For a good week or two before he was born bf and I had agreed on the name Jacob. I say agreed but I still had a doubt or two in my mind. The biggest being that I KNOW that it would have ended up being shortened to Jake when he was older. Not by us, but by family and friends. Having a cat called Jake just seemed to make this unfair on my poor little boy. So it was only several hours after he was born whilst I was at the hospital by myself I began to think about what name suited his looks.

Before long, I was looking at him as a William. After a few hours of calling him “baby Will” in my own space, bf returned to the hospital and we agreed on William with the idea that if he or we wanted to have it shortened in the future we could do it. We told family that he was going to be William but it soon got on to the name Liam for some reason. Someone said they liked the name, and we all agreed we liked it. I was under the impression bf wasn’t keen on the name at all but no, he said he liked it. So Liam was agreed. We then had the middle name dilemma!

My mum suggested William for a middle name as I liked it and decided to tell her work friends thats what we’d decided on. This was despite me saying immediately I thought it sounded stupid. You don’t have a first and middle name that similar. Liam is obviously a variation of William so I immediately refused saying it was like calling James, Jamie James, or my brother Steve Steven. She didn’t seem to get my point saying Liam William sounded good. I just hated it.

It was only the day we got Liams birth certificate we decided on Oliver for a middle name. I like it but it is rather popular in the UK right now and all you hear around the school at pick up and drop off times is “Olly!!!!” I’m not a huge fan of abbreviated names and Olly just sounds so common. So I thought that Oliver would make an ideal middle name and I would be safe in the knowledge that it will NEVER get shortened. Win Win situation for me there.

So there you go.

Autumn Reflections.

For anyone who may be interested I have made a separate blog that will cover my diet for the next 10 months. It’s more a record for me however I don’t mind followers offering support – in fact I do welcome that and . I know not everyone is interested in diets or me having a day of self loathing so I wont force it on anyone. So if you do want to have a read it’s over here:

http://journeyformyself.wordpress.com/

We are very much into autumn now. The sun still shines and creates a happy atmosphere! It is getting cold quickly though and the nights are longer. It’s dark by tea time most days now, even on the bright sunshiney days.

Other days the clouds are a little thicker, a little darker, a little more threatening but I still love this time of year.

I’ve done a couple of entries on the place where I live but I’ve NEVER actually mentioned that I live close to one of the most beautiful places in my town. Like anything, when it’s to hand you take it for granted.

Five minutes from my house is the entrance to the local nature reserve. The country park. It’s a beautiful place. I live so close the entrance of the woodland but I have never mentioned this. I really should get out and get some photo’s of the local area. Not easy with a double buggy so maybe I can take Matthew over to the woodland for a walk and a use it as a bit of time just for us after school one day.

I prefer the woods and the beauty of the autumn colours, but one of the other entrances to the country park boasts this view of the lake.

As a child I would spend much time by this lake.

We would often go out in the school holidays and have a picnic on the surrounding fields. My dad would take my brother fishing and I would sit and daydream. Sometimes my brother and I were allowed to take along friends and even some summer evenings our grandparents would take us there to play cricket or rounders. It makes me wonder where time has gone.

These memories stem back 15-20 years. I never intended to write this post like this, I was just thinking how nice it would be to get closer to nature and have a closer look at the autumn scenery with my oldest son.